The Witches Institute

Like The Women’s institute but less Jam and Jerusalem more pink plonk and chocolate cake. Under the premise of crafting we meet on a Monday night, drink pink wine and talk nonsense. These women are my best friends, and I would like to tell you about them (and make at least one cry)

Bev; I have blogged about Bev before, she has been my best friend for thirty years. What I didn’t blog about is how in demand this chick is, she has a 2014 calender and is filling it with social engagements, EVERYBODY wants a bit of the Bev. Social butterfly, intendant woman of means, guardian of the child like glee. But there is a dark side to Bev, the price to pay for being so loved, Bev works too hard, she goes above and beyond the call of duty in work and friendship.

 Ellen; Ellen has a very grown up job, but for the life of me I have no clue what that actually entails so we’ll brush over that bit. Shy at first, sometimes needs an ego boost, mother and wife, the tale of our first meeting is a sordid affair. We were in the beloved night club (now, sadly, closed) and she came in to the toilets wearing a Type-O negative T-shirt and I decided to stroke Peat Steele’s head, this happened to be directly on Ellen’s boob. Our first meeting and I sexually assaulted the poor girl. It was some years later that we became best friends but she never forgot that first grope.

Helena: Helena, Bev and I grew up in the same street, there is some comedy that I have absolutely no recollection of her until my twenties, this is justified by the fact that I am four years older than her and had entered my sulking teens when she arrived. Helena is ethereal, tall, slim, and endearingly scatty. I have dreams of finding time to play crochet dress up with Helena, all those beautiful lace dresses (some designs in my own head) that would look so RIGHT on her elf like frame. One day my pretty, one day.

Rae; AKA For hooks sake. Rae is my partner in crime, we double up at craft fairs due to the “one per craft” rule most organisers have, we don’t mind, we are not in competition and we need the company. The thing with Rae is that she has the Midas touch with non of the obvious down side. When we met she was studying floristery, she learned to crochet in a week, she makes jewellery, is skilled in paper craft, bakes like a demon, can decorate cakes with style. OK, why am I friends with this woman? she makes me look bad 😉

THE MISSING WITCH (she’s not nude promise)
Jen; I went to high school with Jen, we went to see Iron Maiden together right in the middle of our GCSA exams, we made a mess in her living-room shredding the edges of our newly ripped jeans. We lost touch and Jen ran off to Wales, quite recently we have re-connected via facebook, Crochet Widower says the next time we met it was like we picked up a conversion we had paused twenty years ago. I would love to be closer to Jen (geographically), Jen does not get to play on Monday nights but still counts as a Witch and as soon as they invent teleporters we’ll be sorted .

One thought on “The Witches Institute

  1. Pingback: Caution, approach with care | Itchy Crochet

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