MIA, sorry

So I haven’t been blogging as much as I want to, need to, or even said I would, sorry.

Any who, today I am going to ignore the spell checker, just as a demonstration as to how much it means to me and how I would be incomprihensable without it, why you should not judge inteligance by spelling (everyone can use spell check), and to reenforse “If I can spell it, it can’t be hard”.

While you are struggeling to read my spelling mistakes I would like to rant about self deprivation and fals modesty. The “ask me what’s wrong” posts on FB, the fishing for complimanets statements like “I am such a bad parent”, and when you have a skill you are proud of  insted of saying “thank you” to a compliment saying “Oh any one can do it”. You know what I’m talking about.

We’ll start with my biggest bugbear, (I have mentioned this before) FB/twitter updates along the lines of “why do some people have to be so two faced” and when asked “what’s up” “Oh nothing, I don’t want to talk about it” realy if you are going to do the FB/twitter equivelant of a three year old kicking the door for atention because no one is looking at them then do not be shocked when your friends start ignoring you like that is what you are doing.

Another one that I hate and it does not even have the decency to stay on the internet where I can turn it off is not being able to take a compliment, here is an example of why it bothers me. “oh you look good” SHOULD be followed by “thankyou” or at a push “I have been working out” NOT “OH MY GOD I FEEL LIKE A BAG OF SH!&”. But what realy winds me up about that one is the shock on people’s faces when you actually answer honistly, like I do (I know I am my worset critcic when it comes to crochet, but after three compliments I usually take the hint) so some one will say to me “You look good, have you lost weight?” now I have not lost any weight for quite some time so I tend to assume “No, but I am in a good mood and have a new bra on” is an apropriate response.

Let us take a few “usual” self deprivating/compliment fishing comments and turn them around (so they sound like me)

“Oh I hate my body, I am so fat” (in that special tone of voice, you know the one) every one will rush along to compliment you, but do they mean it?
“I have an AMAZING set of buttoks” any one that knows me will reply “yes, yes you do” but strangers and “FB only people” would think I was being conceted (well I am but they are spectaculer)

“I am such a bad parent, child fell off the slide today and has a bump” queue the horeds of people parising your parenting skills
The nice man has just delivered the shopping and now I have an icelolly, mmmmmm.
OK so I don’t wander around saying “I am such a good parent, look at my parenting skills”, but I have been known to mutter, whilst watching The Hellions play, “I’m doing quite a good of this realy”. Now imagain if I said that in a FB statous twice a day. (I will not go in to the “I love you child without a FB account” FB updates but aaaarrrrrrgggggggh, tell the child to their face)

That’s mostly all I wanted to say. Now I am looking back at all those red and gray lines and I really want to poke them and make it all look nice and tidy, but I won’t. Feel free to comment and laugh. TTFN


6 thoughts on “MIA, sorry

  1. LOL, as the saying goes “you don't stop having fun because you get old, you get old when you stop having fun” some people are old before their time.

    Glad I make you laugh 😀


  2. Just found your blog – been laughing so much.
    I got a filthy look the other day when someone at work said
    “Ooh, what's that lovely smell?” and I, of course, said “Me”.

    No sense of humour!


  3. Ahhh, the Sainted Hollie.
    I was watching a program the other day and a woman said “if your hand touches me I will crush it with my breasts”


  4. I think our positive outlook comes from our mother.
    Yup I'm size 22, but I am did the great salford swim, and my breasts are to die for 🙂
    Well done Itchy, Hollie Mcnish would write a poem about this blog xx


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